My Open letter To Yasin Bhatkal “Saheb”

Hello, Namaskar & sat Sri akal, as usual I am back with some new thoughts. Our Indian journalism & political systems are used to “Open Letters” .In olden & the golden days of Indian democracy, stalwart politicians wrote some exemplary open letters to their political opponents. In journalism also some of our finest Indian editors were famous for writing open letters to presidents, prime ministers etc.…

But friends you know gone are the days, now we have new “players’ in this field. Since our country’s security agencies have caught one of the finest catches i.e. Yasin Bhatkal from Indo-Nepal UP border I  thought it’s my pious duty being a super secular to show my solidarity towards Yasin “Saheb”.Hence this open letter to him…

Respected Yasin Saheb,

            Salam aleykum, I hope things are ok in the custody there. You might be surprised because I addressed you as Saheb. I know at least in this life nobody has addressed you as Saheb but let me tell you Yasinbhai it is our “secular” friend’s tradition to call our distant brethren as saheb  so..

Anyway my first apprehension about this entire episode of your getting caught on UP border has surprised, sorry, shocked me.What I don’t understand is how come you were caught on Indo-Nepal border? Arey, we have some strong & powerful  friends like Dawood saheb,who has plenty of connections in Nepal where you are safer than in heaven…

I think this RSS walaz must have some hand in your arrest ,since they are very keen to see “experts” like you behind the bars.What bothers me most is the way you were caught,since long Nepal has lost its “Hindu Rashtra” identity this right wing(though they are always wrong in what ever they do)  Kafirs have lost their voice there,then how come you were caught red handed from there is an eternal dilemma for me.

But let me assure you Yasin Saheb ,we  all are with you.Since  this hapless Indian security agencies have produced fickle & baseless ,bogus evidences against you, I am damn sure they won't be able to harm you at  all.we all are with  you (pun not intended), so don’t worry about this Indian policewalaz. woh aapka kuch bigad nahi saktey. For what we secularists are here sir? We will protect you & our other brethren (who are still Scot free roaming  in nearby friendly countries) .

Now take this example of our Abdulbhai. as Tundabhai has spilled beans about our big brother(Dawoodbhai, who else) & his know-how,you do not need to worry much because policewalaz will not bother about Hafizbhai(sorry, Hafiz saiyad saheb) now they are concentrating on big bro (well this is what our beloved home minister shinde saheb recently stated).

Bhaijaan let me assure you that all the “secular forces” of this country are with you, so you need  not worry about anything.Bas Biryani Khao Aur Aish Karo.If you need any help from our Gujarat we will provide it immediately as we have so many like minded friends here to support you.

Well before I stop jostling I want to invite you in our vibrant Gujarat to enjoy your post custodial life. though four years ago you tried to “vibrate’ this state but it couldn’t happen due to any fool’s non expertise in Patakha Making. So yasin saheb when ever you come out  please do visit us and let us know in advance so we can   arrange a grand party in khaugali specially for you & we will have blast(pun intended).

With Humble regards,

Secularly Yours

Shirish(Khan) kas(hi)kar

P.S.:- Since Big Bro holds similar surname ,I couldn’t resist myself…